all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
