I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
