he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
