That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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