i was born a porn star she said
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize