we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
