Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I checked into jail on foursquare
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When are your genitals available?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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