Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
