would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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