I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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