Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
