She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
