i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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