really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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