I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
