there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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