i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
