The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
