I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
