Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
