bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The best revenge is premature balding
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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