somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
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Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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