In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
