Pappa wants mamma naked
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
