you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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