My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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