So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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