This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
