oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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