these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize
