Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
