Sry I called you an 8
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
