just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
