You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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