did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
