were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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