dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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