this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's never too late to be topless.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
