I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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