I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize