She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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