i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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