We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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