I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
