Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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