Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
