So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize