Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize