he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
