John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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