he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We are two peas in an std pod
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
