good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
