I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
