Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack

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  (208): you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack http://tfl.nu/46lg
  Replies (28) Good night (894) Bad night (4358)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.

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  (816): Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy. http://tfl.nu/eso4
  Replies (37) Good night (965) Bad night (4029)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.

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  (623): My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here. http://tfl.nu/yssz
  Replies (21) Good night (4085) Bad night (1255)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.

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  (214): Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman. http://tfl.nu/itkd
  Replies (15) Good night (938) Bad night (3204)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.

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  (708): as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down. http://tfl.nu/b3e5
  Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (2136)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

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  (412): We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures. http://tfl.nu/02tx
  Replies (6) Good night (1116) Bad night (544)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.

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  (717): i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer. http://tfl.nu/4jv5
  Replies (11) Good night (1726) Bad night (457)
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  (562): View more from California

  Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.

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  (562): Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real. http://tfl.nu/tp53
  Replies (8) Good night (1894) Bad night (967)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.

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  (304): drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cmgz
  Replies (7) Good night (1658) Bad night (896)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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  (908): Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends http://tfl.nu/ooil
  Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (422)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.

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  (206): Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table. http://tfl.nu/tpao
  Replies (3) Good night (1508) Bad night (410)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.

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  (443): i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died. http://tfl.nu/tald
  Replies (6) Good night (481) Bad night (1091)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.

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  (605): I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with. http://tfl.nu/3qb7
  Replies (5) Good night (708) Bad night (347)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.

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  (740): I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas. http://tfl.nu/p3js
  Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (239)
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  (212): View more from New York

  maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"

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  (212): maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off" http://tfl.nu/iuof
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (163)

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