I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
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I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.