Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.

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(602): View more from Arizona

dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(910): View more from North Carolina

the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.

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(516): View more from New York

He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.

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(630): View more from Illinois

What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"

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(773): View more from Illinois

Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.

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