just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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