It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
