Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.